I want to begin by introducing myself and explain what I hope to achieve with my blog. This is actually my first blog ever! I was quite nervous about doing this because I was not sure how to begin or what I should say first. Blogging will be a great learning experience for me and hopefully I will have the opportunity to be of help to someone else along this journey. I am excited about writing and growing as a person. If you ever have any comments or questions for me please do not hesitate to do so, this is also something I am really looking forward to!!
My name is Nicole Marie Smith. I am thirty years old, born on January 12, 1986. I was born in Michigan, but grew up in Alabama. I currently live in Pennsylvania with my husband and our three children. We got married on July 17, 2004 which, is also the same year that I graduated from Hayden High School. I am madly in love with my husband. He is exactly what I used to fantasize about as a little girl. He truly is my rock and my best friend. We have been through more together the past thirteen years than some experience in a life time. We had our first child, Kenneth Oliver Smith IV, on May 13, 2005 (this is also my husband’s birthday). He only lived for a few short hours after he was born, but has changed our lives forever. We have an eight year old son (turning nine this coming week) named Mason, a four year old son named Trey, and a seven month old little girl named Aubrey. They are our pride and joy, our entire lives! I am a stay at home mom as of right now. I am only a couple semesters shy of earning my nursing degree, but I have decided to pursue social work instead. I love helping people, I believe it is the true purpose God created my life for. I am a Christian, Jesus is my lord and savior. I strive every day to be who he created me to be and to be a better version of myself. I want to grow closer to God and as a person each and every day. If you do not know Jesus I encourage you to get to know him. I believe you will never feel true fulfillment and peace without him in your life. I know this to be true because I have a personal relationship with God and he is active in my life each and every day! He has done so much in our lives and has performed many miracles in my life. I would be greatful for the opportunity to share my experiences and tell you about Jesus. I am so far from perfect, but I try to do as Christ wants me to. I am not here to pass judgement or condemn anyone no matter what your beliefs are. I am a very understanding and non judgemental person. That is all about me for now, I hope I did not bore you to death. Feel free to look me up on facebook under KennethandNicole Smith III.
There are several different reason I decided to start a blog. I love to write and I find it easier for me to express how Im feeling and to explain myself. I want to become a better christian, mother, and wife each and every day. My greatest hope is that I can help people along this journey. If just one person enjoys my writings and I help them or touch their life in some way I would be happy. I want my site to be personable and entertaining although, it may take me a little while to get it there. Any tips or advice are welcomed and would be greatly appreciated. Thank you for reading and God bless you.
Fairy tales do exist. True love and soul mates are real. Love is not only an action, but a feeling. A feeling that you can not change or choose. When we first met, people told us we would glow….something was different, a light in our eyes. We used to laugh when they told us one day we would be like the rest. We could never fight because we loved eachother best. You were my hero and I was your princess. You are who taught me that fairy tales really do exist. Why did it have to end?? Was it us our just our time? I am left with a story book, but no happy ending to tell. My fairy tale has not ended so well. I never imagined us apart because you have been a part of me. Can a love like ours really be lost or have we sacrificed it at a very extravagant cost. We said we would live on the side of the road in a cardboard box, happy together…having only you and me. Now it effects more than us, a family of five so very lost. It was never supposed to be this way. I was like Cinderella and you were my prince, a glass slipper that was shattered…not only lost. I will teach them to love and that true fairy tales do exist and it is possible for them to continue with bliss. The truth is REAL fairy tales DO exist.
I am so sad and lost without you. Where did go? There are times I think I felt you, even thinking I’ve seen you appear. I long for the days you held me so dear and those precious times your love was so true and clear. We have grown up together and somehow we have grown apart. Where did I loose you? Or was it you who lost me? I have never wanted to be anything but yours. It is a choice I will rejoice in and never regret. I was not only your wife, but your best friend too… I never imagined a day of my life without you. Torn and lost by fighting and past mistakes, I know for our children’s sake we will continue on…whatever that takes. I do not know who I am without you, that part of me is lost. My heart is broken and my soul just cries. Today there will be no kiss, no hug, or embrace…I can only hold it in my heart and picture your face. A love so deep, so powerful, and so true, how did we get so Lost? Was it me or was it You? There truth is somewhere along the way we both changed and began growing separate ways. You saw me for my mistakes and it slowly made the beauty of me fade. A love like ours is no mistake, but it is not something you choose or take. In our children’s eyes, I can see you and I see a love that continues and is much bigger than you and I. We have just gotten lost and our only hope for togetherness is the Man that hung on the Cross! He brought us together and He makes no mistskes…it is His hand that we must take. To be together again, joined truly by Him…there would be no stopping us because our love and unity is found by Him.
It has been some time since Ive wrote. Not that I have not had PLENTY to write about because I could have probably wrote several novels by now. I have so many things I want to do, need to do. Sometimes I get so overwhelmed with what I should or should not do and how each and every decision or action I make will effect everyone and myself. Writing has always helped me sort my thoughts and I find it much easier to explain my thought and feelings when I write. There are so many changes I want to make in my life and I just do not know where or how to begin at times. Sometimes, I even get frustrated because it seems like things are just so unobtainable or are simply just not happening like I would hope. I want to start living each and every day to my full potential and to fulfill the purpose God created my life for. I want to be on fire for the Lord. I want people to see Him when they look at my life. I have such a great testimony and need/want to make a difference.
Tomorrow I begin a new job. My first job back in the medical field since moving to Pennsylvania. I have so many different thoughts and emotions I am experiencing right now. My biggest obstacle is being away from my babies, the youngest two for the first time EVER. I know that I am doing it for our future and that it is only three days a week….truth be told they will not even hardly notice that Im gone for nine hours each day. I am terrified of failure. I am so thankful for the opportunity that I am being given and I am excited. I know that new things can be scary and I also know that at times it is the best thing! I have been so fortunate to be able to stay home with my babies the last nine years, my husband has made sure that our every need and want has been met and he would gladly do so for the rest of our lives. This will be a new adventure for us all and will greatly benefit our family. I hope that I can be a blessing to each person coming into my life. I hope to learn something each and every day. I want to be the very best I can be at everything that I do and grow as a christian, a mother, a wife, and a person….starting something new.
It has been much longer than I had hoped for since I last wrote. The past few weeks have been so hectic and gone by so fast, it feels like we have hardly had time to breathe. Time. Time has always been one of my biggest enemies, from the struggle I fight with lost time to me being late for everything (which drives my dear husband insane at times). It seems like there is just not enough time in a day. There is always someone that needs help or something that needs to be done, but that is part of my job and it means everything to me. I want to be the one that helps, I want to be the one that does the things that need to be done. It is part of who I am, it plays an important role in my happiness and well being. If I had super powers one would most definitely be the ability to control time, but of course I have no super powers. What I do have is my God and with him I can do ANYTHING “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:13.
Time is such a precious gift. Once it is gone we can never get it back. I have decided to make it a goal of mine to learn how not to waste or misuse one second of the time I have been given. Eventhough we can not get back or make up for lost time, we can learn from it and use it to our benefit. I believe time can be used as motivation to be better and to do better. I wake up every morning and thank God for another day, another chance to be better for Him, myself, and others. Every minute is a gift that we should cherish and use to fullfil our purpose and make a positive impact in the world or in someone’s life.
I have been given many blessings in my life and I know that God has many more in store for my family and I. I want to live a life that glorifies God and inspires others. I want to be who He created me to be and live how he intended for me to live. I hope people look at my life and see Him. This is why I must learn to move on from lost time, from my mistakes and failures. Nothing good can come from holding on to those things. It will only keep me from moving forward and will only cost more lost time. It is time to change, time to be a better me, which who I so badly want to be. Change takes time and is not always easy, but “nothing worth anything is,” I have been told and have learned to agree. God has shown me time and time again that if you put forth the effort and have faith anything truly is possible. If you do your part and trust in Him there is nothing you can not do, he will remove any obstacle and move any mountain. I will not waste another day and I will cherish every minute. I pray that we all learn to live each moment like it is our last and realize what a blessing time really is. I pray that we seek God in all that we do and we live our lives to glorify Him. I pray we each fulfill our purpose and grow to be who He created us to be and learn to have faith that it will all come together….in just the right time.